#badchristian, or how I spent Good Friday
Apr. 1st, 2013 01:32 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ivyficWhat you need to know about G.I. Joe: Retaliation: Channing Tatum and the Rock need to do a buddy move right now. RIGHT NOW. They are ad-or-a-ble. HOMG. Also, there are flying ninjas.
Apparently some of this would have been explained by seeing the first film, but for me, it was fifteen minutes of THIS IS THE BEST FILM EVER HOLY CRAP, and then it takes a sudden turn into completely incoherent, who the fuck are these people, I have no idea what's going on anymore, is that guy a Cobra or a Joe? I can't remember, I no longer care about anything that is happening.
But those first fifteen minutes are glorious. And a lot of it reminded me of playing with the toys, so mission accomplished, I guess.
What you need to know about Olympus Has Fallen: at the end of it, I turned totrinityvixen and said, "Well, at least they didn't rape the women!" And yes, that is the most positive thing I can say about that film. It is super violent complete nonsense. The obvious plot threads that are set up at the beginning (he's best buddies with the president's son!) are discarded almost immediately. The president is a bok-bok-bok chicken. The action went "the full 9/11," as trinityvixen observed. And the only attempt at motivation given to the villain was some random shouting about globalization and then him saying, "I lost my way."
Also, this film fridged a woman SO HARD, it wasn't even the main character's wife--it was someone else's wife who was fridged so the hero could have MAN PAIN OVER HIS CAREER. For real. It's in the trailers, too, but believe me when I say having the first lady die horribly has jack and shit to do with the rest of the film.
Also, the villain gets into a fight with Butler at the end and does spinning kicks because he is Asian.
That is all I have to say on that film.
Apparently some of this would have been explained by seeing the first film, but for me, it was fifteen minutes of THIS IS THE BEST FILM EVER HOLY CRAP, and then it takes a sudden turn into completely incoherent, who the fuck are these people, I have no idea what's going on anymore, is that guy a Cobra or a Joe? I can't remember, I no longer care about anything that is happening.
But those first fifteen minutes are glorious. And a lot of it reminded me of playing with the toys, so mission accomplished, I guess.
What you need to know about Olympus Has Fallen: at the end of it, I turned to
trinityvixen and said, "Well, at least they didn't rape the women!" And yes, that is the most positive thing I can say about that film. It is super violent complete nonsense. The obvious plot threads that are set up at the beginning (he's best buddies with the president's son!) are discarded almost immediately. The president is a bok-bok-bok chicken. The action went "the full 9/11," as trinityvixen observed. And the only attempt at motivation given to the villain was some random shouting about globalization and then him saying, "I lost my way."Also, this film fridged a woman SO HARD, it wasn't even the main character's wife--it was someone else's wife who was fridged so the hero could have MAN PAIN OVER HIS CAREER. For real. It's in the trailers, too, but believe me when I say having the first lady die horribly has jack and shit to do with the rest of the film.
Also, the villain gets into a fight with Butler at the end and does spinning kicks because he is Asian.
That is all I have to say on that film.