![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ivyfic|Master Art Post|
~*~
The next day was Jared's first day off, for which he was extremely grateful. Unfortunately, he didn't have a car, so instead of spending the day hiding in the counselor room watching Better off Dead on the crappy TV—which had no reception and only one VHS tape—he bummed a ride with Chad.
Chad, it turned out, had a girlfriend at Dartmouth—some chick named Sophia. She was there for the summer semester, so despite Chad promising that Hanover was a kick-ass town and they'd have an awesome time, he ditched Jared as soon as they got there. Jared was glad to be away from the constant demands of his campers for a day, but he only had a couple of days off and was kind of pissed to spend one of them wandering around Hanover, where, it turned out, there wasn't a whole lot to do besides go to Dartmouth. There was only so much time he could spend in the Dartmouth Bookstore, after all. He ate lunch at EBA's and watched both movies playing at the Nugget, which only had two screens, then spent the rest of the day dozing on Dartmouth Green.
By the time he spotted Chad's car pulling up sometime around midnight, the relaxation of the day had dissipated and he was just pissed. Chad didn't look at all bothered by this. Judging from the smile on his face, short of leaping from the moving car, Chad probably wouldn't notice anything Jared did.
When he got back to his shack around one, he collapsed onto the bed. His pillow crinkled when he put his head on it. Feeling around underneath, he found a note with "Jared" written on it in flowery writing. He opened it.
Darling Jared,
I could not help but notice your smoldering gaze in the dining hall. You are the most divine specimen of manhood I have ever seen. My love, I cannot wait any longer! Meet me in the infirmary tonight at midnight. I will wait for you.
XOXOXOXO
Alona
Jared rolled his eyes. All the i's had little hearts over them, and there were badly drawn flowers around the edges. His campers must have left it for him—it was traditional to prank the counselors on their day off. At least they didn't steal all his underwear, like they had Chris's.
Jared reread the note, laughing at the twelve-year-old boys' conception of what girls talked like. One of them must have stolen their mother's Harlequins. They were in for a surprise in a few years when they tried to talk actual girls into going out with them.
He wondered if his campers had planned to stake out the meet-up—even though it meant breaking camp regulations about curfew. It was already past midnight, though. After a quick check, he determined they were all in bed. He tucked the note into his trunk and went to sleep.
~*~
In the morning, he noticed Lizard eyeing him. "So…" Lizard said. "You have fun last night?"
"Last night?" Jared made a deeply thoughtful face. "Not sure what you mean."
"You know. Last night."
Jared suppressed a laugh. Of course Lizard couldn't say anymore without admitting to writing that note. "Well, I did have this crazy dream about Godzilla."
Lizard squinted his eyes in disgust and headed off to the bathroom to brush his teeth. Jared saw him conspiring with Chas as they headed back.
After lunch, he found a bunch of goldenrod—pulled up by the root, it seemed—sitting on his pillow. He picked them up gingerly, brushing the clumps of dirt off his sheets, and had to suppress a sneeze.
"Oooooh!" Lizard crowed when he entered the tent. "Do you have a secret admirer?"
Chas's head popped in at the window. "I bet someone likes you!"
"Chas, you have to be in your tent, now. It's only a few minutes till rest hour." He shooed the boy away, still wondering what he should do about the flowers.
Chris arrived while he was still examining them. "Oh, that's…nice."
Jared flicked his eyes toward where Lizard was pretending to write a letter. "I think someone's trying to set me up."
"Ah. Say no more."
"They wrote me a fake love note, too," Jared whispered. "What should I do?"
Chris heaved himself back on his bed and flicked his hat over his eyes. The hour after the lunch was ostensibly a time for campers to write letters or read, but it was mostly an excuse to let the counselors take a nap. "You're on your own, dude."
~*~
The next Sunday Jared woke up before reveille. Sundays were "Lazy Breakfast," which meant the kids got to sleep in a little and go to breakfast in their pajamas. Jared looked at his watch and decided he had enough time for a run. Though he'd gone on plenty of hikes over the last two weeks, he'd always been going at the pace of nine-year-olds. He wanted a chance to really push himself, and this was the only time he could do it. As long as he got back before breakfast, Chris would cover for him.
As he got out to the main road that ran through camp, he noticed Alona stretching out. "Hey," he waved. "Looks like you've got the same idea I do. Mind if I join you?"
"If you can keep up," she said with a wink.
After Jared stretched, too, they headed out. The plan was to circle the lake, a five mile loop. Jared let Alona set the pace and they ran in silence for a while. For most of its stretch, the road was surrounded by trees, but they passed the occasional house, all with quaint little names on signs, like "Harrington's Nook" or "Benson's Retreat." They must all be summer homes, Jared thought. He wouldn't mind having a house up here someday. Vermont was truly gorgeous in the summer. The road wound closer to the lake in parts, giving them a view of the sun, still low on the horizon, sparkling off the water.
"Alona," Jared said, drawing even with her. "I think my campers think we're going out."
"Really?" Alona asked with a slightly breathless laugh.
"They sent me a love note from you on my last day off. It was all flowery—darling, and smoldering gazes and stuff. Told me to meet you in the infirmary at midnight."
"How do you know I didn't send it? I might have been waiting up all night for you."
"Darling?" Jared said and Alona burst out laughing. "I suppose it was also you that left a clump of uprooted weeds on my pillow. Very romantic."
"God. And like I'd want to get it on in the infirmary. They try and set me up with somebody every year. Hazard of being the only chick at camp. Bit of a perk too—sixty to one, those are pretty good odds."
Alona looked at him and he noticed a sparkle in her eyes. She looked speculative. He suddenly felt a little flustered. To cover his discomfort, he said, "Race you to the next turn."
"You're on," Alona replied, and took off without waiting for him to start.
Alona was fast, he had to give her that, but in the end his longer legs won out and he beat her, but only by a little.
When she drew up, they were both laughing. "Give me a sec, Speedy." She said.
Jared leaned against a tree, while Alona rested her hands on her knees. There hadn't been much traffic this early, so Jared looked up when he heard the sound of an engine. He touched Alona's shoulder to draw her a little further off the road. A van drove past them, and Jared could see a bunch of campers in uniform inside. He realized it must be the van that took the religious campers to church for services. He was a little perplexed to hear cat-calling from inside, distorted by the Doppler effect as it disappeared down the road.
"What do you think that was?" he asked Alona as she straightened up.
"Boys," Alona said, rolling her eyes, and started on the last stretch back to camp.
~*~
Jared had just enough time to shower before heading down to breakfast with his hair still wet. When he got there, Chris had goaded the Steves into a powder donut eating contest, and all their faces were caked with powdered sugar.
It was subtle at first, but later in the day, Jared noticed that some of the campers stared at him, or stopped talking when he walked up. He felt like he'd landed back in middle school, which wasn't surprising given the age of some of these kids.
He sat at Jensen's table at dinner, and as he plopped servings of stew into dishes and handed them out, he noticed a knot of campers at the far end of the table whispering to each other and giving him furtive looks. "What," he said, and they broke apart faster than roaches when the light turns on.
After a few more minutes of silent looks passing between them as they ate their stew, Lizard turned to Jared. Jared looked to Jensen for support; Jensen just looked bemused. He looked back at Lizard.
"So…" Lizard said. "Did she spit or swallow?"
Jared's jaw dropped open. "What?" He couldn't possibly have meant—
A little bolder, he started again. "Alona. Did she—"
He was interrupted by a hand slamming down on the table. Jared looked over at Jensen, who had risen and looked angrier than Jared had ever seen him. "Did you just say something?" he asked.
Lizard got a cocky look in his eye. "I just asked—"
Jensen hit the table again. Jared noticed a couple of campers at nearby tables craning their necks. Counselors, too. "Cause I just thought I heard something that might get someone kitchen duty. So—did you say something?"
Lizard looked cowed. "No. Didn't say anything."
"Good." Jensen sat back down. "Didn't think so."
Jared was impressed. He'd been trying to rein Lizard in for weeks. He had to admire Jensen's technique. He still couldn't believe it, though. Who knew twelve-year-old boys had such nasty minds? He didn't think he would've thought of that when he was twelve. Though, actually… Well.
After dinner had broken up, Jensen pulled him aside. Before he could say anything, Jared patted his shoulder. "Thanks, man. I don't know where that came from."
Jensen looked at him seriously. "Did you go out running with Alona this morning?"
Jared was confused. "Yeah."
"Well, next time try being a little more discreet. Remember what I said about doing stuff on camp property."
Jared still couldn't make Jensen's words make sense.
Jensen, sensing Jared's confusion, continued. "The church van saw you, man. There are rumors flying all over camp. Now I don't really think she gave you a blowjob on the side of the road, but whatever you were doing—"
"Blowjob?" Jared sputtered. "What? We just went running."
"Really?" Jensen sounded relieved.
"Yes, really. Alona's a nice girl, but—"
Jensen slapped him on the back. "Well, okay then. Kids, you know, at this age they—"
"Yeah, you know—"
"They're just exploring—"
"Oh, totally—"
"Harmless, really—"
"Yeah."
"Okay then. Well. See you round." Jensen slapped his back one more time and headed off. Now Jared was even more confused. And he didn't know how he was going to handle any more questions like Lizard's. Maybe it was too much to hope for that Lizard and Chas would try to set Chris up instead.
~*~
Jared was woken up in the middle of that night by Turtle, who was feeling sick. Why Turtle disturbed his sleep and not Chris's, he didn't know. He blearily shoved his feet into his sneakers, grabbed his flashlight, and headed off with Turtle for the infirmary. Wouldn't you know it, Alona was on duty.
Jared watched as Alona examined his camper. He tried furiously not to blush. After a little bit she declared that Turtle just had an upset stomach, gave him some Pepto-Bismol, and sent him to sleep in one of the infirmary's cots. She came back through the creaking door to the infirmary's answer to a ward quietly after tucking Turtle in. "He went out like a light," she said conspiratorially.
"He's okay, then?" Jared asked. Despite still being cranky at being woken up at three a.m., he was a little worried.
"He's fine. Sometimes these kids are just feeling homesick and want a little attention. Come morning, it'll be like this never happened." She smiled up at him with her sweet smile and Jared couldn't help blushing harder.
"Yeah, um, so…" He looked down at his feet.
Alona laughed. "You're embarrassed because of the rumors, right?"
"You heard those?" Jared looked up aghast.
"Gossip's practically the only thing to do around here. Chris told me."
"I am so sorry. I just didn't expect— I would never— God."
"It's fine," she said with a wave. "You think this is the first time this has happened? Last year everyone was saying I slept with Jeff up on Winships." Jared almost swallowed his tongue. "It's no big deal."
"No big deal?"
She raised an eyebrow at him. "I work at an all boys camp. You think I'd keep coming back if this sort of stuff bothered me? I'm a big girl, Jared, I can handle a few rumors. The people whose opinions I care about are old enough not to listen to them, anyway."
Jared smiled. "Yeah—it's just so—embarrassing."
"You're cute when you're embarrassed, you know?" Alona said, then turned back to her desk. "At least it was in their heads. If you actually give them some real ammo, watch out."
~*~
At the end of the next counselor meeting, it was time to sign up for his next day off. He stared at the calendar for a moment, sharpie in hand—between trips he'd already scheduled and Chris's day off, he only had one possible day left. And he still didn't have a car. Chad was signed up for that day, too, but he didn't really want to spend another day doing nothing in Hanover. He noticed another name on the list and got an idea. Before he could talk himself out of it, he turned.
"Hey, Jensen," he called.
Jensen, already at the door, turned. "Yeah?"
"You've got a car, right?"
"Uh, yeah." Jensen started meandering back towards Jared.
"Well, I noticed we've got the same day off next week. Can I bum a ride off you? I got stuck in Hanover last time, and believe me, Hanover's not exactly a happening place."
Jensen looked amused. "What did you have in mind?"
"Oh, I don't care. We'll think of something."
Jensen shrugged. "Sure. Why not."
Jared turned to write his name on the calendar, hiding his smile.
~*~
They pulled into the parking lot at nine. It was a later start than Jared would have liked, but with the two hour drive, he didn't think Jensen would have gone for getting up at five a.m.
Jensen climbed out of the car and looked up, shaking his head. "I can't believe you talked me into this. Isn't hiking your day job? You have to do it on your day off, too?"
"Going up and down thousand footers with middle-schoolers is not the same thing. This—this is a true challenge, and its own reward."
"Yeah, it's going to be a challenge. When you have to carry me down from the summit. You know I picked sailing for a reason. I haven't been on a forced march since I was a camper."
Jared just tossed him his pack. "Quit your whining or I'll sing camp songs all the way up."
"Oh, god," Jensen groaned, then headed for the trailhead. "You do that and I'll leave you here. You can explain to Jeff why you went AWOL on your day off."
They were at the base of Mt. Washington—the tallest peak on the East Coast, and a peak Jared had been wanting to hike all summer. It seemed a shame to spend the summer in Vermont and not come out to the Presidentials.
They started from the Cog Railway station and headed up the Jewell Trail—Mike had assured him it was the easiest ascent, though easy was a relative term when talking about 6,000 vertical feet over a ten mile hike. Jared was a little worried about dragging Jensen into this, but as soon as they got going, Jensen seemed to be enjoying it.
They took the trail at a light jog, watching their footing carefully over the roots and jumbled rocks. Pretty soon, Jared called a stop so he could peel off his t-shirt, mopping his brow with it before tucking it into the back of his shorts. Jensen was smiling at him when he looked up, slightly flushed. He turned away to grab his water bottle out of his pack. Jared grabbed a bandana to wrap around his forehead as a sweat band. He was sure he looked like an idiot, but having his sweat-damp bangs flop into his eyes was beginning to drive him crazy. He was glad when Jensen didn't make any cracks at his expense. After a moment, he just smacked Jared on the shoulder and headed off again.
When they broke the tree line, Jared had to put his shirt back on to protect from the chill. They broke out their windbreakers soon after. It may have been July, but without the protection of the trees, the wind cut across the mountain, stealing the heat of the day. They passed a lot of hikers on the trail—groups of friends, fathers and sons, and one guy with a very put upon-looking girlfriend. When they'd crossed out of hearing range, Jared and Jensen couldn't help snickering at each other.
When the trail crossed the Cog Railway tracks, Jared insisted they stop until a train chugged past. "You want me to what?" Jensen asked.
"C'mon, mooning the Cog is a tradition." Jared whined. Plus, it would be a chance to maybe sneak a glance at Jared's cute ass without all those clothes in the way.
"If you want to get arrested for public indecency, you go right ahead. Bare that lily white ass. I'll be up there laughing at you." Jensen started towards the peak.
"Oh, fine." Jared said, jogging a few steps to catch up with Jensen. "I didn't peg you for a prude."
"I am not a prude. Having the maturity not to moon people does not make me a prude."
"Does that mean we can go streaking later?"
Jensen just shook his head.
They made it to the weather station at the summit a little after one o'clock. Mt. Washington was high enough that they were actually in a cloud at the top. This was cool in concept, but in reality, meant they were hiking through mist that covered their skin in little water droplets and made Jensen's hair stand up in spikes. Though the whole of the valley was stretched out below them, they couldn't see anything but the mountain itself. Jared could see how it had gotten the nickname "The Rock Pile." The whole summit was jumbled granite boulders, covered in lichen and made slick with the mist. Even if there had been a view, they would have had to focus on their footing or risk twisting an ankle.
When they stepped inside the summit building, Jensen said, "Now I see why you chose Mt. Washington. Where else could we get hot chili at the top?" He looked a little haggard, but he was smiling, which Jared took as a good sign.
The summit was crowded with an interesting mix of sweat-soaked hikers, tourists who had taken the Cog Railway up and were covered in a fine layer of soot from the coal-burning engines, and a few pristine visitors who had driven up the auto road. There was a reason driving up Mt. Washington in your car was considered heresy to true mountaineers. Jared couldn't help but laugh at the hairy eyeball some of the drivers were getting from the hikers.
"Hey," Jared said, smacking Jensen with his spoon. "Don't wolf down too much. We still have to get all the way back down this thing."
"Don't tell me that!" Jensen said, sliding down in his chair. His leg brushed up against Jared's. Jared thought it must be accidental, Jensen was just tired, but that didn't stop the goosebumps Jared felt all over his skin. Jensen looked gorgeous like this, flushed and sweaty, mouth a little slack with exhaustion, hair spiky with sweat and rain. Jared breathed deep and could smell him, the clean scent of Jensen's sweat, mixed with the smell of the mountains. As he stared at Jensen, feeling the brush of their calves together, he felt a stirring in his shorts.
Abruptly he pulled his leg away and coughed to cover his indrawn breath. "We should head back out."
"Right, right," Jensen said, straightening. "Just let me hit the head."
They headed down the other side of the summit. This section of trail was more crowded, as some of the more adventurous railway riders explored. Just before they reached Lakes of the Clouds, the mist cleared away. Jared grabbed Jensen's shoulder; he was intently looking at his feet as he leapt from rock to rock.
Jensen turned to look out at the view. "Wow," he said.
"Yeah," Jared replied.
They could see green covered mountain peaks spreading out before them, folded like wrinkled fabric. It was still hazy, with clouds overhead, but sunlight was piercing the clouds periodically, reflecting off the humidity in the air like beams of light in a Renaissance painting. Mist still clung to folds in the mountain. Jared shaded his eyes and craned his neck to look down. "Hey, you see your car? I think that's it waaaaaay down there."
Jensen snorted. He laid a hand against the back of Jared's neck for a moment, and Jared could feel the heat seep all the way through him. Then the hand was gone. "Let's get going."
They stopped for a moment at Lakes of the Clouds to look at the sky reflected in the perfectly smooth surface of the lakes cradled in cowl of the mountain. It was strange to see lakes up here, above the tree line, surrounded only by scrub brush and rocks. Jared was pretty sure they ended up in the background of some tourists' photos as they made their way back to the Ammonoosuc Trail.
The path down was grueling—so steep, the rocks seemed less like steps than like a ladder, straight down.
"My legs are turning to Jell-o," Jensen said from behind him.
"We're almost there," Jared called back, though he wasn't too sure about that.
"You said that an hour ago. I'm not sure I believe you anymore."
Luckily for Jared, the trail opened up to a small pond and a waterfall soon after. Jared pulled out his map for a moment. "This is the Gem Pool," Jared said, looking up. "Not much further back."
"Great," Jensen said, continuing down the trail.
"Hey, wait a sec. Stop and enjoy the beauty."
Jensen rolled his eyes, then looked on in surprise as Jared pulled off his boots and soaked-through socks, then stripped off his shirt.
"What are you doing?"
"Going for a swim!" Jared waded out into the water. The cold knocked the breath out of him. It was the sort of cold that made the marrow in your bones ache, but he couldn't back out now, with Jensen watching.
Jared made his cautious way to the edge and dipped a hand in, then quickly jerked it out. "Are you insane?"
"Yup!" Jared said. He made it out to waist deep, then took a deep breath and dunked his head. Despite the numbing cold, it actually felt nice to wash away some of the grit of the day. "Come on in! It's refreshing!"
"You're nuts," Jensen said laughing. He took a seat on a rock and watched as Jared made his way out of the water. Once back on dry land he was hit with a full body shiver. "Refreshing, huh? Then why are you all goosebumps?"
Jared grinned mischievously and approached Jensen, who was looking at him warily. When he got in range, he leaned over and shook his head, spraying Jensen with water from his hair.
"Hey!" Jensen shot up. Jared chased after him, not easy on the uneven footing, and grabbed him into a hug, making sure to transfer as much water as possible. It was a juvenile thing to do, but he figured it was better than trying to throw Jensen into the pool. Karmically speaking.
Jensen laughed and made a half-hearted attempt to escape. "Did anyone ever tell you you're like a giant puppy?"
Impulsively, Jared licked a stripe up the side of his neck. He could taste the salt of Jensen's sweat, feel the tendon there under the skin. He froze, suddenly realizing he was completely wrapped around Jensen, pressed up against his front. He'd been rubbing his bare chest against Jensen's shirt a moment ago, trying to get him wet. Shit. It had been such a good day, and now he could just see how badly this could end. In a minute, Jensen wouldn't have any doubt what Jared was thinking about.
Jensen didn't seem to notice Jared's sudden lack of movement. "God, Jared," he said, then pushed Jared's face away. But he was still laughing. He swiped at his neck, making the kind of face eight-year-olds did when they talked about girl cooties. "Clearly the endorphins have gone to your head. Time to get you home." Still smiling, he headed down the trail.
Jared took a moment to put his boots back on and collect himself. Well, that hadn't gone as badly as it could have. He'd had visions of Jensen punching him, taking off in the car and leaving him. But a small part of him hoped that maybe Jensen had been feeling the same way he had. Instead, Jensen had just thought he was horsing around. He thought he had been, too. But maybe he'd really been making an offer.
Jared shook his head. No use getting crushes on oblivious straight boys, he reminded himself. He forced himself to regain the laughter they'd shared a moment ago and took off after Jensen.
~*~
Jared didn't mean to, but he couldn't help falling asleep on the ride back. Even though they got back only a little bit after taps, Jared hit the showers and went straight to bed, mumbling something to Jensen about seeing him the next day. He had a vague memory of Jensen laughing at him, but Jensen headed straight for his bunk, too.
Breakfast the next day was in an uproar. Apparently, on the one day he was gone, Chad had peed out of the side of his tent and now all the eleven-year-olds, under the mistaken impression that Chad was cool, had started to do it, too. Chad claimed it was just because the bathrooms were so darn far from the tents and it was treacherous getting there in the dark (which was what flashlights were for). It only took one moment with Chris out of earshot of the campers to confirm that Chad had just gotten wasted two nights ago. Jeff made a special announcement in that morning's assembly about appropriate and inappropriate times to use the great outdoors as a bathroom.
Jared sat at Jensen's table again at lunch. He couldn't help but feel a bubbling exuberance every time he looked at Jensen. From the way Jensen was smiling, he felt it too. Unfortunately, the campers must have picked up on some of the excitement, and Jared and Jensen barely managed to quash a food fight before it spread to neighboring tables. When Jared had made sure that all the tater tots were back on the table and staying that way, he looked up to see Chris giving him a measured look.
~*~
Jared was stuck on camp property for the next few days. He'd been chosen to head one of the five-day trips in the second half of the summer, so Mike decided he needed to rack up some time in the Woodchuck Hole teaching campers how to light fires and look at star charts. Jared was secretly thankful to have the time to coordinate with Tom on the details—they were doing a canoe trip. On the plus side, that meant they didn't have to carry everything in packs, they could put it in the canoes instead. On the minus side, there would be a few overland stretches where they had to carry everything, including the canoes.
Jared was also maybe not so upset to be seeing Jensen more frequently.
A few days later, just as morning activities ended for a stretch of free time before lunch, Jared headed towards the docks. As he approached, he saw there was some sort of commotion going on. Normally at this hour, everyone was out of water, heading back to their tents. Right now it looked like every lifeguard in the camp was in the water. A few more counselors were standing around the swimming docks, making sure the campers all headed to their tents.
Jared broke into a run, and spotted Chad. He looked uncharacteristically serious—and worried. Jared felt a knot form in the pit of his stomach. "What's going on?"
"Camper didn't turn their tag," Chad explained. To make sure everyone was out of the water at the end of the period, each camper had a numbered tag. As they went onto the docks, they hung their tag on a pegboard, showing that they were swimming. At the end of the period, they moved it back. Apparently at the end of the period today, the board showed that one camper hadn't come back. By the reaction, Jared guessed he hadn't just been doing laps and not heard the whistle.
At first, the swimming docks looked like they were in chaos, but once he looked more closely, Jared realized it was actually regimented. The lifeguards were searching the lake in sections, each one diving all the way down to the bottom before moving a little bit forward and diving again. With the water as murky as it was, that would be the only way to find the camper if he'd drowned. Jared shivered. His eyes scanned the water and he could see Jensen's head bobbing out beyond the lane lines.
"Who is it?" Jared asked.
"Derek Johnson." Jared closed his eyes for a moment, picturing the quiet ten-year-old that was always hanging out with Turtle. "Chris checked the changing room and his tent, but couldn't find him."
Jared opened his eyes again. "Thanks," he said, taking off for the tents. It took him a few minutes to make it up the hillside to where the ten-year-old campers stayed. There were a few things he'd learned since he'd gotten here about what campers did with their free periods. He'd had more than one occasion when a camper took off a little before the bugle.
Rather than going to Derek's tent, he headed instead to the bathroom. The campers only had the free periods before lunch and dinner to take showers (the mornings were reserved for the counselors), and there were only two stalls in this bathroom. All except for the first few campers back to the tents had to suffer through cold water straight from the lake if they wanted to clean up.
Sure enough, Derek was standing there in line for the shower, glasses off, towel wrapped round his waist, holding a little basket with his toiletries. Jared took a deep breath in relief.
"Derek," Jared said. Derek looked up, startled. Though Jared tried not to let it, some of the gravity of the situation seeped into his tone. The other campers were all looking on curiously. "Come with me."
Derek held his toiletries a little closer to his chest. "You're not in trouble. You just have to come with me. Right now."
Jared hustled Derek to his tent to throw on his clothes. He debated dragging the poor kid down the hill in his towel, but even though the matter was urgent, he knew what boys could be like. This would be embarrassing enough for Derek as it was. If he got dragged in front of the whole camp in just a towel he'd never live it down.
When Derek had stuffed his feet into his sneakers, Jared set off with him for the docks. He had to hold himself back from running flat out, knowing Derek wouldn't be able to keep up with his longer stride.
"Hey!" he yelled as they approached. "I found him! I found Derek! He's fine."
He saw Chad turn to pass on the message, a smile breaking across his face. Pretty soon whistles were blowing and heads were popping up out of the water.
"What's going on?" Derek said. He still looked a little worried that Jared had dragged him down here as some sort of punishment.
"You forgot to turn your tag," he said, and watched comprehension dawn over Derek's face.
"Oh." Derek looked like he might start crying. "I'm sorry."
Jared leaned down to look him in the eye. "It's okay. It's okay. You're not in trouble. We're just glad you're safe."
By this point, the lifeguards were emerging from the water, rushing towards Derek to make sure the boy they were looking for was indeed okay. Tom broke through the crowd. "Hey, Derek," he said. Jared could tell he was going for casual—and failing. After a moment he gave up trying and hugged Derek. Something clicked in Jared's head—Tom was Derek's counselor. Jared couldn't imagine how tough it would be looking for one of his kids.
"I'm sorry. I forgot," Derek said again. He looked like he was trying to use Tom's shoulders as a handkerchief.
Tom pulled back quickly. "It's okay, kiddo. You just gave us a scare." He roughed up Derek's hair, then turned to triumphantly move his tag off the board.
"Oh, thank god," Chris said, then spread-eagled out on the grass. "That's it—I'm done for the day." After a moment he raised his head to look at Jared. "Hey, where'd you find him?"
"He was in line for the shower."
Chris laughed. "Of course. Why didn't I think of that?"
Jared could feel a palpable sense of relief as the counselors who'd been searching headed to the changing rooms to dry off. Jared noticed that a few of them who didn't work in the swimming or boating departments were wearing just their shorts—they must have run straight for the water, not bothering to change.
Jared scanned the crowd, looking for Jensen. He wasn't one of the ones heading to the changing rooms. His eyes flicked back out to the lake in a moment of fear before he could stop himself. Then he spotted the back of Jensen's head disappearing around the side of the Barn.
Jared jogged to catch up to him. "Jensen!" he called, but didn't get an answer. When he rounded the corner of the Barn, he could see Jensen had taken a seat on a bench. Now that the commotion had broken up, it was deserted here, as all the campers were up in their tents, and the counselors who didn't have other duties were in the counselor room. Jensen was sitting in a grove that had been set up as an outdoor auditorium, with rows of log benches interspersed with birch trees. On Sundays when the weather was nice, Jeff usually held assembly out here where they could look out over the lake.
As Jared approached, he could see Jensen's shoulders were slumped. He was drawn into himself, toes pointed towards each other in the pine needles, making him look oddly young. He didn't look up when Jared sat next to him.
"Hey," he said. Jensen half nodded his head in acknowledgment. "You okay?" This close to him, Jared could see goosebumps raised over his bare arms. It was a hot day, but still wet from the lake in nothing but his swim trunks, Jensen shivered at a light breeze. "Hey," Jared said again, resting his hand between Jensen's shoulder blades.
This seemed to startle Jensen out of his reverie. He swallowed quickly. "Yeah, yeah. Fine." But he didn't pull away from Jared's hand. Jared risked running it up to the base of Jensen's neck, fingertips brushing his hair, hoping it would feel like a gesture of comfort. Jensen was usually the king of composure—it was unnerving to see him so rattled, but Jared had a guess as to why.
"Derek's fine, you know. Just a little embarrassed."
Jensen laughed at that, a quick bark which didn't leave a smile in its wake. "Yeah, I know."
Jared sat there, completely still but for his fingers brushing tentatively at Jensen's neck, afraid to do or say something to break the strange tension he felt between them. He felt like he was Jensen's anchor, and he didn't want to pull away and set him adrift. Jensen took a deep breath before continuing quietly. "It's just—I wanted to find him. But I really, really didn't."
"Yeah," Jared breathed. He pulled Jensen toward him, not thinking about what he was doing. Jensen tucked into his side, took a shuddering breath, then let his head rest on Jared's shoulder. Jared could feel some of the fear and worry leech out of his friend as he gently rubbed his shoulder. When he looked down, he could see that Jensen had shut his eyes, blond lashes resting on freckled cheeks, his mouth slightly open as he took deep, slow breaths.
They stayed there in silence, Jared giving Jensen the shelter to put himself back together. Jared looked out at the sunlight glinting at the ripples on the lake, no less beautiful now that he knew what it could do. But his eyes kept being drawn back to Jensen. The sun had dried him off now, but the occasional droplet made its way from his hair down his neck and chest. Where his arm wrapped protectively around Jensen's shoulder, he could feel the soft, smooth skin and the strength of the muscles beneath. He felt the tickle of Jensen's hair against his neck and couldn’t help leaning his cheek against Jensen's head.
He'd had crushes before, but he'd never been allowed so close—or never allowed himself to be. He'd never held someone like this, felt their skin stretched out underneath his touch, felt the trust he did from Jensen right now. His breath sped up—he couldn't help it. He knew he was tensing up, his fear that Jensen might notice the change in his thoughts almost guaranteeing that he would. He swallowed against his suddenly dry throat.
Jensen pulled back, looking up at him without dislodging his arm. Jared felt trapped—he knew his thoughts, and his fear, were written all over his face. Jensen would have to be blind not to see it. And on Jensen's face—he couldn't tell. He expected disgust or, if he was lucky, a joke, but Jensen looked just as transfixed, staring into his eyes, lips parted. Jared's eyes wandered to those full lips, so close to his own he could feel Jensen's breath.
The camp bugle blew, announcing that it was time for lunch. Jared started at the sound, and in that moment Jensen pulled away, turning to look out at the lake. "Guess I better change," he said, tugging at his still wet trunks. "Jeff might think I was a bad example, going to lunch out of uniform."
"Yeah," Jared agreed, his voice strangely unsteady. Jensen wasn't looking at him. He was looking at the lake, or the ground. He wished they could go back to that moment just a little while ago. He wasn't sure what had been about to happen, but he was sure it would have been incredible.
Jared noticed pine needles sticking to the seat of Jensen's swim suit. He thought about brushing them off; wondered what Jensen would do if he did.
Jensen turned to look at him, quick, and Jared felt like his skin was on fire under the gaze. He must be bright red. Jensen was smiling and for a moment Jared thought he was going to make fun of him.
"Aw, sorry dude. I got you all wet." Jensen patted Jared's chest where he'd left a wet spot. Jared sucked in his breath, remembering Jensen pressed against him there.
"No problem." Suddenly both of them were smiling at each other, and Jared felt like maybe the moment hadn't been lost at all, just…postponed.
They heard the sounds of campers approaching on their way to the dining hall. "See you later?" Jensen said, setting off in a jog for the changing rooms.
"Yeah," Jared called, then added quietly, "definitely."
~*~
When Jared got up to Winships that evening, he didn't see Jensen. That wasn't surprising—as head of the sailing department and of the Rousters, he often had meetings to finish up at the end of the day and arrived later.
Jared felt jittery and nervous, like anyone must be able to look at him and tell, which they probably could. Chad was there, poking the fire and talking to Mike. Jared didn't feel up to keeping up a conversation right now, unless they wanted to know everything about Jensen's freckles.
He detoured away from the fire before they called him over, heading for a secluded part of the clearing, up the hill and closer to the tree line. From up here, the campfire light barely carried enough for him to see the looming shape of the trees. He turned off his flashlight, hiding in the darkness—the closest thing to privacy here—and hoped he didn't turn his ankle on any rocks. The five-day canoe trip left in two days, and he would be bummed to have to sit it out after all this planning.
He sat down, trying to slow his breathing and soothe the butterflies in his stomach. It was a clear night—a welcome break from the hazy humidity that had been hanging over the camp for the last week. He laid back, resting his head in his hands, and looked up at the vast expanse of the sky. He could see the stars back home in San Antonio, if he drove away from the city a little bit, but it was nothing like here. So far away from city lights, the longer he stared up, the more stars he could see. At first it was just the big constellations, and the dimmer stars in between, but as his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he could make out sprinklings of light in what had at first looked like only blackness. He let his eyes go unfocused, picking up more stars on the edges of his vision that disappeared when he looked at them.
It was meditative, letting himself fall into the sky above him. He felt a momentary flash of vertigo at the immensity of it, as if the Earth's gravity would give him up to it if he didn't concentrate on staying on the ground.
The crunching of twigs alerted him that someone was approaching. Without being able to see more than a shape in the darkness, he still knew it was Jensen. In his contemplative mood, he felt sure he could smell him as he approached.
"Chris said he saw you disappear up here," Jensen said quietly, as if sensing Jared's mood. He lay down beside Jared, letting out a quiet "ouch" as he sat on something, before shifting and throwing it off into the woods. "So, Campcraft boy, what constellations are up there tonight?"
Jared lifted a hand to point, only visible as a void against the stars. "Big dipper, little dipper, Cassiopeia's Chair, uh…" Jensen laughed quietly. "Hydra?"
"That's all you got?"
"Hey, that's all the campers need for their first rank. If they pass that, I hand them off to Mike."
"Just remind me never to get lost at sea with you," Jensen said. Jared heard Jensen shift beside him. Jensen laid a gentle hand on his chest, and Jared shivered. He felt vulnerable, laying beside Jensen. He felt the hand brush up his chest until it was resting over his heart, which beat faster like it was struggling to reach Jensen. The touch was just hard enough to avoid tickling. Even now he felt the urge to laugh, but he didn't want to end the moment. He didn't know if he should reach out to Jensen or just lie there—did Jensen think he wasn't interested because he wasn't responding? Was Jensen even interested, or was he just being friendly?
Before Jared could get too lost in his own doubts, a shape appeared above him, blocking out the stars. It hung there a moment and Jared could feel Jensen's breath on his lips, smell his sweat. Then it moved and Jared felt the brush of Jensen's soft, chapped lips against his own. Jared was caught between the heat of the hand on his chest and the mouth pressed, unmoving against his own. He couldn't think, just react when the lips moved. Oh, god. He was kissing Jensen.
He managed to summon enough thought to bring a hand to Jensen's head, wrapping around the back of his neck, thumb resting on his cheek. A tongue brushed gently against his lips, sweeping his teeth as his lips parted on a gasp. All he could feel was Jensen's mouth, his hand, his hair ruffled beneath Jared's fingers, and then he was pulling away.
Jared was lightheaded—it was a good thing he was already lying down or his knees might have given out on him, and that would have just been embarrassing. "I thought you said no nookie on camp property?" Jared said dumbly, then could have kicked himself. Of all the things to say in a moment like this, instead of "I've been wanting to do that," or "Don't stop," he had to make a veiled reprimand?
He felt Jensen's cheek move under his hand, guessing that must mean he was smiling. A moment later, the tone of Jensen's voice confirmed it. "Well, I guess that rule has a special Jared exemption. Rules are made to be broken, right?"
He moved away, Jared's fingers brushing across his neck and shoulders, until he was just a shape in the darkness. He sat there for a moment and Jared wondered what he could see in the faint starlight that Jared couldn't. Then he wordlessly got up and headed towards the fire and the sounds of other counselors, suddenly intrusive now, though a moment ago Jared would have sworn there was no one else around for miles.
Jared stayed propped on his elbows, watching Jensen go, as he tried to recover his breath. He didn't remember feeling this winded when he climbed Mt. Washington. But Jensen, Jensen was another force entirely. His lips tingled with the thought. When he finally got up to rejoin the others, he knew he was grinning like a maniac and couldn't bring himself to care.
He plopped down next to Jensen, who was regaling Chris with some story from college. Chris spared a sideways glance at Jared, and Jared hoped he couldn't see the blush in the dim light. He knew he had to be circumspect, couldn't wrap an arm around Jensen's shoulders and tug him closer the way he wanted to, couldn't give in to the desire to touch Jensen, didn't matter where, just to feel the warmth of his skin. But he couldn't feel anything but joy when he thought about whatever this thing was that was happening between them.
~*~
The next morning Jeff pulled Jared aside as he was leaving breakfast. Jeff was like a giant teddy bear most of the time—warm smile and dimples—but he could terrify misbehaving campers when he had to. Jared had always thought of that as an endearing quality, until Jeff asked if he could step into his office for a few minutes.
Jared's heart-rate skyrocketed as he headed over to the office building. Jeff was too circumspect to drag him off in front of the whole camp, but that only meant that he ended up standing in Jeff's office, waiting for him to show. He'd only been sent to the principal's office once as a kid (for throwing sand in someone's eye, which was totally not his fault) and he didn't think he'd been this terrified then.
He could only think of one reason why he was here. Jeff had to know. Jensen had been right—camp property had some sort of magical power that made sure everyone knew everything he did, particularly things he did in the pitch black on top of Winships. With Jensen. But how could he know? It had been less than a day. Somebody must have told him. Could Chris? That didn't make any sense. Chris was Jensen's friend and, Jared liked to think, his as well, but there had been something in that look he'd given Jared last night—
Jared was jerked out of his thoughts as Jeff walked into the office. He sat behind his desk and gestured for Jared to sit as well, which he did, though he couldn't keep his leg from jiggling up and down. "Jared, I just wanted to talk to you for a minute. I think you know why you're here—"
"I'm gay," Jared blurted out before he could think. Stupid mouth.
"Ooookay." Jeff looked a little confused.
Jared squeezed his eyes shut in mute horror, but then once he thought about it—why should he be pulled aside like a child and reprimanded for kissing Jensen? He straightened in his seat. "I'm gay, and I'm proud of that fact, and if you have a problem with it, then that's your problem. Maybe I should have told you before you hired me, but I'm a great counselor, the kids love me, and maybe that's not the right way to put it, but being gay doesn't make me a pervert. If you're so close-minded that you can't handle that, and think that who I'm attracted to has anything to do with whether I can teach boys to light campfires or identify poison ivy, then I can pack my stuff up right now—"
"Whoa, whoa, wait a sec," Jeff said. He looked a little steamrolled, but his expression quickly changed. It looked like he was trying to hold back a laugh. "It's great that you're gay, thanks for telling me, but I actually wanted to talk to you because you were late to the last counselor meeting."
Jared felt all the blood drain from his face. He'd just blown his chance to stay here, maybe see where things with Jensen would lead, and it wasn't even about that? "Oh."
Jeff's laughter quickly faded. "Jared, honestly, I don't care that you're gay. You don't have to leave unless you want to, though I'd prefer if you didn't. It's very disruptive to the campers to have their counselors disappearing."
"But—this is a sleepaway boys camp. Don't the parents mind?"
"Fuck the parents," Jeff said gruffly, then rolled his eyes self-deprecatingly at the obscenity. "The parents mind if their kid doesn't get the lead in the play or if their little monster can't have his Game Boy no matter how many pleading letters he writes. The parents are always going to mind about something. But that's my job, to deal with them. I'm not going to let some close-minded parents tell me how to run my camp, especially when their kids could use some exposure to a viewpoint different than their own."
Jared could feel his nerves slowly calming. He nodded.
"I'm actually glad you told me, though I would never have pressed you about it."
"Really?"
Jeff gestured out at the camp. "The boys that come here each summer, they're transitioning from being children to being adults—it's a very difficult time for a lot of them. And I guarantee you that there are kids out there who are just starting to figure out that they maybe don't like girls as much as they think they should. It could be a tremendous help to them to have someone like you as a role model. You may think I'm out of touch, but I've heard the rumblings—you're one of the most popular counselors here. A lot of kids look up to you. Now, I don't want you to start broadcasting your sexuality—like you said, it has nothing to do with your job as a counselor—but keep your eyes open and you might find someone you could help feel more comfortable with themselves. You think you can do that?"
"Yeah," Jared said, smiling.
"Great." Jeff sat back. He'd been talking to Jared as a peer a moment ago, but he was now back in his role as camp director, all business. "About being late…"
"It won't happen again."
"Alright." Jeff smiled. "Get outta here."
~*~
Jared wanted to see Jensen. He didn't know what he wanted to say, just that he needed to see him, be with him. Maybe not touch him, though—Jeff may have been surprisingly tolerant, but Jared wasn't going to push it. He waited all morning for the free time before lunch to try to find him.
Unfortunately, Chris had to call a shack meeting. Frog and Turtle shared a bunk and Frog had taken to kicking Turtle's mattress in the middle of the night. When Chris pressed him about it, he claimed it was an involuntary action in his sleep. Jared thought that was bull, but it might not have been, given some of the stories the other counselors told about sleepwalking campers.
Either way, it took a whole hour of discussion (and yelling, and sulkily slamming trunk lids) to work out a new sleeping arrangement so Frog wouldn't be able to kick anyone in their sleep, intentional or not.
The trumpet blew, signaling it was time to go to lunch, but Chris held everybody back for a moment. "Guys, I know it seems like you've been stuck with these ugly mugs for an eternity, but there's only two weeks left before y'all go home. And believe me, you're going to miss this when you're back in school. So don't waste it fighting, huh?"
They all nodded in assent, then took off for the dining hall. Only two weeks left before he went back to Texas. Two weeks to figure out this thing with Jensen. And he had to spend the next five days away from him.
Part Three