I watched Burlesque over the weekend. This movie looks like it mugged Cabaret for spare change. As far as pop star movie vehicles go, it's got one up on Glitter, but that's not saying much. The plot is coherent, though achingly predictable. The whole middle section sags, as they have something like five musical montages back-to-back. I think I'd've been more entertained if they'd just done a cabaret show starring Christina Aguilera and Alan Cumming and not bothered to try dressing it up with a story.
- Cher looks grotesque. It is genuinely disturbing whenever she's on the screen, so thank goodness it's not much.
mithras03 and I saw a drag show that had a spoof of Cher in this movie and that--was not an exagerration.
- Stanley Tucci is completely wasted, as usual.
- Alan Cumming is completely wasted. He's such a brilliant match for this setting and is in maybe five minutes of it; the best I can figure is he wandered by the set one day and they let him have a few lines.
- Despite the many montages that imply that vast amounts of time have passed, the entire timeframe of the movie is about two weeks, which makes no sense on any level.
- The whole plot is based around the club being about to go out of business. And given the fact that it's always shown packed, I can only conclude the financial difficulties are due exclusively to Cher's mismanagement.
- Christina Aguilera is, of course, the savior of the club. Her talent is enough of a draw that Cher more than doubles the entrance fee. And at the end of the movie, Cher gets filthy rich off of her idea. But given that Aguilera spends the whole movie crashing on boring love interest's couch, it seems pretty clear that she's not seeing any of that dough. I don't care if Cher is your new mother figure--make her pay you what you're worth, goddammit.
In conclusion, I might have dozed off for a bit in the middle of that movie. And as soon as it ended, I put as many Bob Fosse musicals as I could find on my Netflix cue.
- Cher looks grotesque. It is genuinely disturbing whenever she's on the screen, so thank goodness it's not much.
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
- Stanley Tucci is completely wasted, as usual.
- Alan Cumming is completely wasted. He's such a brilliant match for this setting and is in maybe five minutes of it; the best I can figure is he wandered by the set one day and they let him have a few lines.
- Despite the many montages that imply that vast amounts of time have passed, the entire timeframe of the movie is about two weeks, which makes no sense on any level.
- The whole plot is based around the club being about to go out of business. And given the fact that it's always shown packed, I can only conclude the financial difficulties are due exclusively to Cher's mismanagement.
- Christina Aguilera is, of course, the savior of the club. Her talent is enough of a draw that Cher more than doubles the entrance fee. And at the end of the movie, Cher gets filthy rich off of her idea. But given that Aguilera spends the whole movie crashing on boring love interest's couch, it seems pretty clear that she's not seeing any of that dough. I don't care if Cher is your new mother figure--make her pay you what you're worth, goddammit.
In conclusion, I might have dozed off for a bit in the middle of that movie. And as soon as it ended, I put as many Bob Fosse musicals as I could find on my Netflix cue.