I love that the first thing Castiel does when he's considering disobeying orders is go to someone else and try to get orders. He is just not capable right now of thinking on his own.
That, to me, was almost more heartbreaking than anything Dean went through because Castiel was so pathetic. (The good kind of pathetic, I mean.) He just wanted to be sure of the world again, not realizing that he's already doubted and that means he can never be sure. He's in denial because he wants to be as sure as he was, but he can't be. I love that sort of dichotomy.
Otherwise, I loved the idea of Dean breaking, but I liked more that he begged to be relieved of a burden that he, in all honesty, would never relieve himself of. It was his moment in Gethsemane. He didn't want the responsibility, but now that he knows that he is the one to bring about the problems in the first place, he won't ever shirk it. He just wanted Castiel to pardon him while, at the same time, knowing he won't pardon himself. The parallels with Castiel's position were really beautiful and yet understated. I really appreciate that sort of work. It was masterfully done.
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branchandroot
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Date: 2009-03-23 03:54 am (UTC)That, to me, was almost more heartbreaking than anything Dean went through because Castiel was so pathetic. (The good kind of pathetic, I mean.) He just wanted to be sure of the world again, not realizing that he's already doubted and that means he can never be sure. He's in denial because he wants to be as sure as he was, but he can't be. I love that sort of dichotomy.
Otherwise, I loved the idea of Dean breaking, but I liked more that he begged to be relieved of a burden that he, in all honesty, would never relieve himself of. It was his moment in Gethsemane. He didn't want the responsibility, but now that he knows that he is the one to bring about the problems in the first place, he won't ever shirk it. He just wanted Castiel to pardon him while, at the same time, knowing he won't pardon himself. The parallels with Castiel's position were really beautiful and yet understated. I really appreciate that sort of work. It was masterfully done.