I think he's not able yet to even think about it that rationally. It just broke my heart when he said, "and I don't even know what the hell any more." I think that sums it up. He still hasn't really rationally dealt with any of what's happened since Devil's Trap. He's still stubbornly insisting he can protect Sam, when it's been shown a number of times that that's not true (and Sam knows it even if Dean doesn't). He's gone from denial of what his dad did to anger, but that's as far as he's gotten.
I think he brought up his mom, and focused his lack of faith on her, because he's processed that already. He probably struggled long and hard over the idea of a higher power because of what happened to his mom, and finally reached the detente we saw in Faith -- God and I don't really talk, but I understand why other people need him, and more power to them. But since IMToD and everything that's happened since, he's too emotional about it to think rationally. He's at, fuck you, God, and don't even fucking talk to me about God. But he can't talk about that with any kind of persuasive rationality, so he talks about his mom instead. (JMO, YMMV, etc!)
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branchandroot
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Date: 2007-02-07 04:56 pm (UTC)I think he brought up his mom, and focused his lack of faith on her, because he's processed that already. He probably struggled long and hard over the idea of a higher power because of what happened to his mom, and finally reached the detente we saw in Faith -- God and I don't really talk, but I understand why other people need him, and more power to them. But since IMToD and everything that's happened since, he's too emotional about it to think rationally. He's at, fuck you, God, and don't even fucking talk to me about God. But he can't talk about that with any kind of persuasive rationality, so he talks about his mom instead. (JMO, YMMV, etc!)