Step Up 3D--I watched it so you don't have to

I somehow convinced mithras03 to watch Step Up 3D with me last night. The movie is as advertised—plentiful and amazing dancing (A-MA-ZING) with more whoosh sound effects than Xena, and not much else.

The 3D was not that well done and occasionally very distracting. I wonder how this will look 2D, assuming they're releasing a 2D DVD, given how much they played to the 3D. That being said, there seemed to be something off about it—I haven't watched enough 3D to know, but it did not feel quite right to me.

There are a couple of whiffs of plot, but not much development beyond that. Mithras03 and I both agreed that we weren't really bothered by that, since more development would have meant a) less dancing and b) having to spend more time watching some truly shit actors deliver bad dialogue.

Here is an example of the "plot" of the film. Moose (from the last film) shows up at NYU and immediately gets into a "dance battle." He's then chased by the cops, and a random dude that had been filming him asks him to get into his car. Moose does. Luke (i.e. the random dude, i.e. the douchebag) then drives Moose out to a warehouse in Brooklyn. I will note that it was morning at the dance battle and the sun has set by the time they get to Brooklyn, making you wonder what they've been doing all that time… (It was pretty clear the movie had no continuity editors, what with the backpacks randomly disappearing and teleporting from place to place.) They get to the warehouse, which Luke explains is called "The Vault" and is where he has a "Clubhouse." There is a distinct pedophile vibe to all of this…

Luke then introduces Moose to his crew and explains that Moose is one of them now and must compete with them in the great World Jam Dance Battle (at the battle, despite the fact that tons of people were waving Norwegian flags—Norway being known for its hip-hop???—only seemed to have New Yorkers competing). You see, the winner gets $100k, and Luke needs it to pay his mortgage. (He actually tells another character that he saw Moose dance and decided to "recruit" him so they'd win. Cause that's NOT CREEPY AT ALL.) Also, by being kidnapped into this random dance crew, Moose has made enemies of their rival crew, who will come after him, cause no one fights them and just walks away.

This leads to the most hilarious scene in the movie, where Moose goes to a public bathroom at a club, and a thug-like member of the rival team follows him in. The guy whips open his hoodie—to reveal speakers. Then he starts dancing at Moose in a threatening manner. Four or five other guys come in and also dance at Moose menacingly. Moose dances back (defensively?). This "battle" theme continues throughout, with one character lamenting at one point that they are "outnumbered two to one!" Dude, you're dancing at each other, not actually getting in a fight. Superior numbers might actually hurt.

Oh, and did I mention the names of the crews are the Pirates and the Samurais? That's right, there are ninja dance confrontations.

There's also some kind of plot about Moose failing out of school (in the end, he gets approval to double major in electrical engineering and dance, and is overjoyed—mithras03 and I both looked at each other like, well, I hope he doesn't like sleeping, cause he won't be from now on), and his fag hag—I'm sorry, "best friend"—falling in love with him and feeling left out, and the rival crew's leader's sister spying on them and blah, blah… Really, it was an excuse to have as many dance battles as possible in two hours. And I am fine with that.