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screwdriver anecdote

Dude - I wish that were a real email. I want to hear the screwdriver anecdote.

ETA: This just in
ice cube uncharacteristic

Fic: The Third Day - Part I (Constantine)

At long, long, loooong last, the much anticipated, much belabored Constantine fic.

Title: The Third Day
Author: Ivy
Fandom: Constantine (movie)
Rating: R (for bad words)
Summary:
"The point is," Chas said reverently, "you have an honest-to-god founder of the church in your living room."

John crouched next to him, grinning. "It’s a great angle. I’ll get a much better price for him."

"You’re going to sell him?" Chas exclaimed incredulously. "You can’t – it’s St. Wilfrid!"

John grinned at him. "What did you think I was going to do with him? Consecrate communion wafers?"

A/N: I’ve never been to LA. If there are errors in the geography, mea culpa.
Thanks to gryphonrose for the demonic, insidious helpful plot suggestions. Thanks to trinityvixen, feiran and jethrien for the beta, and special thanks to darkling1 for making me take all of that insipid emo out. Thanks to Alexandra for explaining the Catholic church to me.

This started as a Christmas fic for trinityvixen. She gave me the prompts: Constantine, the First, and checkers. Well… she got one. Four months later.

( The Third Day - Part I )

Part II

Read entire fic on AO3.

Fic: The Third Day - Part II (Constantine)

Title: The Third Day
Author: Ivy
Fandom: Constantine (movie)
Rating: R (for bad words)
Summary:
"The point is," Chas said reverently, "you have an honest-to-god founder of the church in your living room."

John crouched next to him, grinning. "It’s a great angle. I’ll get a much better price for him."

"You’re going to sell him?" Chas exclaimed incredulously. "You can’t – it’s St. Wilfrid!"

John grinned at him. "What did you think I was going to do with him? Consecrate communion wafers?"

Part I

( The Third Day - Part II )