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Lyle's Car challenge
Crossposted with Pretender100, for this week's challenge.
Title: Red Tape
Rating: PG-13 for obscenity
Challenge: Lyle's Car
Word count: 197
“Hello? Amica? I’d like to place a claim.
“Lyle, L-y-l-e. In Blue Cove, Delaware.
“My car was stolen.
“I already filed the police report, yes.
“I’m aware that this is the fifth theft this year. I’ve been through all the red tape before so why don’t we just fast forward to the part where you write out a check for it.
“What do you mean ‘voided the policy’?
“Look it’s 2 fucking a.m. I’m tired, I’m in a tux, I’m standing in a parking lot where my car should be and the only thing here is a little note card that says, ‘Tsk, tsk’ – which I cannot use to get home, I might add.
“I left the car locked. No, I know I left the car locked. I have the Club, I’ve got Lojack dammit but they said the tracker’s been disabled.
“Investigate what? This isn’t an insurance scam! My CAR was stolen! That’s what I have insurance for, to pay me back for it so get off your god-damned ass and write me a fucking check!
“No, no, don’t hang up! I’m aware that this looks unusual, but there are some special circumstances that –“
*click*
Read on AO3.
Title: Red Tape
Rating: PG-13 for obscenity
Challenge: Lyle's Car
Word count: 197
“Hello? Amica? I’d like to place a claim.
“Lyle, L-y-l-e. In Blue Cove, Delaware.
“My car was stolen.
“I already filed the police report, yes.
“I’m aware that this is the fifth theft this year. I’ve been through all the red tape before so why don’t we just fast forward to the part where you write out a check for it.
“What do you mean ‘voided the policy’?
“Look it’s 2 fucking a.m. I’m tired, I’m in a tux, I’m standing in a parking lot where my car should be and the only thing here is a little note card that says, ‘Tsk, tsk’ – which I cannot use to get home, I might add.
“I left the car locked. No, I know I left the car locked. I have the Club, I’ve got Lojack dammit but they said the tracker’s been disabled.
“Investigate what? This isn’t an insurance scam! My CAR was stolen! That’s what I have insurance for, to pay me back for it so get off your god-damned ass and write me a fucking check!
“No, no, don’t hang up! I’m aware that this looks unusual, but there are some special circumstances that –“
*click*
Read on AO3.
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Cool icon, by the way!
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I just toodled over to ask for your email so we can properly build yoru profile over at Missing Pieces. As it is currently (http://non.missing-pieces.org/viewuser.php?uid=150) we've just got your drabbles archived, but we'd like your other story Busking if you don't mind. The drabbles are also going to be archived over at Pretenderfanfiction.net, if you don't mind. Sorry, normally I just pull the email from the profile but you don't have yours in there. I cannot find you! If you don't want the stories archived then we're happy to delete them and apologise, likewise if you only want them on one archive that's cool too.
Thanks for your time :)
(BTW: I still laugh at this every single time I read this. Brilliant. You have such a great Lyle voice.)
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Wow. Somebody actually wants to archive my stuff. That's new. Feel free to put Busking up - do you need anything from me to do that?