Yeah, see, I think a lot of what the show is doing is good, it's interesting or powerful. But it is getting too depressing, too melancholy. I don't feel squee, I feel too sad for them. Which is a testament to how well constructed these characters are. But I think it is a flaw in the show that they're leaning too heavily on getting the drama out of making Sam and Dean as miserable as possible. It's getting overdone and earlier this season I thought they were headed to climbing up out of the trench but it feels like everything's dragging them back down.

The thought of not writing spn fic, and not finding out what happens to Sam and Dean and Castiel canonically, also depresses me, though. So I'm at a point where it's, watch the canon to stay current but not with much joy, and I'll be taking refuge more and more in the fic. Fic can fix things or offer moments of grace the canon refuses to give us, or just plain can give the characters some happy.