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When the writers just don't care anymore
You know how sometimes Netflix sends you something that's like 15 down your queue instead of what's at the top? Well, Netflix sent me season 4 of Moonlighting. You may recall that I was not terribly thrilled with the show in season 3. But since I have the discs, I might as well watch them before I send them back.
For season 4, they had a couple of problems:
-Cybill Sheppard was pregnant with twins
-Bruce Willis was filming Die Hard
-They could barely stand to be in a room with each other anymore, anyway
-Even the show's creators wanted to stop at the end of season 3
So then we get season 4. This is just a lesson in writers who are so fucking desperate to fill up an hour of television when they can't get the romantic leads in a room together that they'll do anything.
-In the first episode, there are not one, but two extended dream sequences, one with Ray Charles just showing up and randomly bursting into song.
-There is also a six minute long monologue by Bruce Willis, done in one-shot, whose entire purpose is this: He is standing outside Maddie's door and trying to get her to answer it. For six motherfucking minutes.
-In the next episode, there is a claymation sequence between Maddie and David. They couldn't get the two of them to film a scene together, so they had to animate one.
-Cybill, meanwhile, is extremely pregnant and very much showing. So they dress her in this giant lilac sack dress and pretend that she hasn't found out she's pregnant yet. Oh, and there's the black sack dress with the pointy shoulders, too, for fancy occasions. Seriously, if you're going to play out a pregnancy storyline anyway, is there any reason in the world to have a six-month pregnant actress pretend like she's only two months pregnant?
-Meanwhile, the storyline for keeping them apart is getting increasingly bizarre. Maddie flies to Chicago and won't talk to David at all for no reason other than it allows her to not appear in episodes. David, in his frustration, has a one-night stand, then finds out Maddie's pregnant the next day. Do you want to tak a guess what happens in the next episode? I bet you won't be able to…
-David is mistaken for a convict at an airport and taken straight to prison, because apparently the guards guarding this convict never looked at his face and fingerprints and mug shots don't exist. David is in jail for a two-parter, full of every hackneyed prison cliché you've ever seen.
-Just when you thought the show couldn't get more contrived, a chain gang breaks into a song from H.M.S. Pinafore. Which morphs into a rap, with break dancing. Are you kidding me?
-After he's released from prison, the show goes on, with no mention of the time spent in jail. Nobody noticed he was missing for a week, either. The only realistic thing to happen so far this season is that the Blue Moon Detective Agency went bankrupt, cause god knows they haven't had a case in a year.
There are commentaries on a few episodes with the writer and Bruce Willis, with the writer saying, basically, this scene was him flailing desperately to fill time, and then apologizing to Willis for making him perform this shit. Willis in turn says he'd get the scripts and be like who is this character? Cause it certainly isn't David Addison. He seems to have a firm stance toward this season of fuck this shit, I'm filming Die Hard.
Lois and Clark didn't even get this bad.
For season 4, they had a couple of problems:
-Cybill Sheppard was pregnant with twins
-Bruce Willis was filming Die Hard
-They could barely stand to be in a room with each other anymore, anyway
-Even the show's creators wanted to stop at the end of season 3
So then we get season 4. This is just a lesson in writers who are so fucking desperate to fill up an hour of television when they can't get the romantic leads in a room together that they'll do anything.
-In the first episode, there are not one, but two extended dream sequences, one with Ray Charles just showing up and randomly bursting into song.
-There is also a six minute long monologue by Bruce Willis, done in one-shot, whose entire purpose is this: He is standing outside Maddie's door and trying to get her to answer it. For six motherfucking minutes.
-In the next episode, there is a claymation sequence between Maddie and David. They couldn't get the two of them to film a scene together, so they had to animate one.
-Cybill, meanwhile, is extremely pregnant and very much showing. So they dress her in this giant lilac sack dress and pretend that she hasn't found out she's pregnant yet. Oh, and there's the black sack dress with the pointy shoulders, too, for fancy occasions. Seriously, if you're going to play out a pregnancy storyline anyway, is there any reason in the world to have a six-month pregnant actress pretend like she's only two months pregnant?
-Meanwhile, the storyline for keeping them apart is getting increasingly bizarre. Maddie flies to Chicago and won't talk to David at all for no reason other than it allows her to not appear in episodes. David, in his frustration, has a one-night stand, then finds out Maddie's pregnant the next day. Do you want to tak a guess what happens in the next episode? I bet you won't be able to…
-David is mistaken for a convict at an airport and taken straight to prison, because apparently the guards guarding this convict never looked at his face and fingerprints and mug shots don't exist. David is in jail for a two-parter, full of every hackneyed prison cliché you've ever seen.
-Just when you thought the show couldn't get more contrived, a chain gang breaks into a song from H.M.S. Pinafore. Which morphs into a rap, with break dancing. Are you kidding me?
-After he's released from prison, the show goes on, with no mention of the time spent in jail. Nobody noticed he was missing for a week, either. The only realistic thing to happen so far this season is that the Blue Moon Detective Agency went bankrupt, cause god knows they haven't had a case in a year.
There are commentaries on a few episodes with the writer and Bruce Willis, with the writer saying, basically, this scene was him flailing desperately to fill time, and then apologizing to Willis for making him perform this shit. Willis in turn says he'd get the scripts and be like who is this character? Cause it certainly isn't David Addison. He seems to have a firm stance toward this season of fuck this shit, I'm filming Die Hard.
Lois and Clark didn't even get this bad.